Some say we live in a “throw away” society too busy to be bothered with caring for our elderly. Others bemoan the plight of the “sandwich generation” taxed by caring for overly pampered children as well as declining parents needing daily care. In both cases, we miss one of life’s great purposes and its inherent blessing. Jane Drucker, Phd, a life strategies coach and loving daughter addresses this issue in the following poignant post by the same title:

With the Jewish High Holy Days and the Muslim month of Ramadan overlapping for the second time in two years, this year seems particularly auspicious for reflecting on the question of Baby Boomers’ responsibility to provide health and other care for our aging or ailing parents.

Why should we care for our parents or other elders? Didn’t they raise us so that we could go out into the world as independent adults to fend for ourselves and to raise the next generation? Isn’t Elder Care a process of looking back rather than of moving forward?

Oh, no, no, no…from every fiber of my Jewish soul, I must say, “NO”. I know that many (perhaps most) of you are not Jewish, so let me just say briefly, that many of my spiritual and philosophical views do emerge from my Jewish heritage and upbringing. I hope that my heart-songs (thank you Mattie Stepanek for this wonderful word!) can help you to strengthen yours.

Caring for, or arranging care for, our parents, aunts, uncles, and other aging loved ones is our duty. The fifth commandment says, “Honor your father and your mother.” There is no codicil that emends the commandment with stipulations such as “if you feel like it” or “if you love them”, or “if it suits your needs”. No, the commandment is quite simple and direct.

What does that imply? The implications range from the obvious to the obscure.

Obvious: Our parents cared for us when we needed care. Now it’s our turn.

Obvious: (As Mom and Dad often explained to me about all sorts of orders) Do it, because I said so.

Obvious: What goes around, comes around. Do you want someone to care for you when you are elderly or ailing? Put some credit in that bank.

Obscure: Human nature is not as benevolent as we might wish to think. We all need a “kick in the pants” from time to time, and the ancients recognized this. So “Honor your father and your mother.” made it into the Top Ten list of Thou Shalts.

So whether or not this is your time of year for soul reflections, I hope that you’ll take a moment to think about what honoring your parents means to you…and to them.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 1st, 2008 at 12:59 am and is filed under Caregiving, Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.